This Just In: Eli Manning Good At Football, Not Funny

If you didn’t see Saturday Night Live this week, I really wouldn’t worry about it.  Even if you recorded it and skip the commercials, it would still take you the better part of an hour to get through it all.  Do you really want to spend an hour watching a grown man be uncomfortable and awkward in front of a live studio audience?

"Uhhh...can we do a football skit now?" (Photo by Dana Edelson/NBC)

I’ll do you a favor and break down each Eli skit…

1st skit – Eli playing a guy who is supposed to be overly preppy and boring.

2nd skit – Eli playing himself, making fun of how bland and unexciting he is.

3rd skit – Eli playing “Richard”, a boring, preppy deleted character from the Cheech and Chong movies.

4th skit – Eli dressed as a woman.

Let’s review.

Eli Manning is boring, awkward, and bland, and everyone knows it, including Eli.  A show that reminds us of that over, and over, and over again starts to get boring…and awkward…and bland.  It’s basically like Eli agreed to host the show, but made it very clear he didn’t want to do anything too crazy.

“Sure, I’d love to host SNL!  One thing though…I’ll only play myself, or characters that have all the same personality traits that I do.  Deal?”


It’s great that Eli was willing to make fun of himself, but it got old rather quickly.  We get it!  You aren’t entertaining, you don’t do anything controversial, and you are uncomfortably goofy and awkward.  You know what would have been funny?  Watching you play a character with a personality…

What happened?  I mean, really…Peyton is awesome at everything.  When he hosted Saturday Night Live, he was funny!  The guy does everything right!  I can’t argue that you are a great football player, but I honestly believe it ends there.  I’m sure it’s hard being Peyton Manning’s little bro, but you can at least try to extend your talents a little bit.  Loosen up a little!

It can’t be good when the funniest part of a 1½-hour show is when the awkward host says the word “penis”.

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